You should be committed!
A man in Las Vegas married his mobile phone recently. Yup. The phone plays a pretty big place in his life, so he decided to take the plunge.Till death do they part. Or at least until a better model comes out and his contract expires.
I am not trying to be funny. It is a pretty serious observation.
In fact, it is absolutely surprising that it has not happened before. Video game systems. TVs. Various and sundry toys and distractions. It's madness I tell you.
Now, it is not new. We have become a society fixed on fads and trends. We love our shinies. And in doing so, we don't commit. We refuse to go all in.
A few months ago, I spoke with a gentleman who sits on the board for a community where our club practices. He recounted that his son had been involved in martial arts years ago when he was younger. He did not stick around long. In fact, the man lamented, he had a wide variety and assortment of uniforms and equipment from different activities in which his son had been involved. I would guess that said phenomenon is not unique to this one gentleman.
We have lost the fine art of commitment. In for a penny in for a pound? Nope. In until I tire of whatever it is that I am doing. Or until I find something easier that allows me to break my routine. Speaking of which, did you know it takes a minimum of 66 days to form a habit? That is 66 consecutive days. Of doing the same thing. And that is a short estimate, Two to eight months is more like it. So, sorry your one month of a handful of days for a handful of hours trying it doesn't quite cut it,
Or, my favourite - it's just not for me. Really? Again, maybe you lasted all of a month. How do you know if it is for you. Maybe somewhere between 8-10 hours over that time, I guess. That is pledging to an activity? Or is is that sorta like the guy marrying his phone - committing to something easy and mindless and non-binding.
Well, that may explain divorce rates. Or tenure at workplaces. And the list could go on. So much for loyalty...
So, yes, I contest that we don't commit anymore. Or we commit to the wrong things. Phones. Binge-watching TV shows. Facebook. Selfies.
Are we alone in this? I daresay no. In fact, there is evidence that Japan's culture is disappearing. The traditional arts are not pulling in the participants needed to carry them forward. As the article says, you cannot force tradition.
Even on Okinawa, it is easy to see that dojos are suffering similar effects. Perhaps one part Western influence or part invasive cultural-species - there are MMA clubs, K1 schools and whatnot that seem to be doing quite well. But, the numbers in some of the dojo I have seen or been to would indicate a decline.
In 2012, on my way back to the hotel from a night of 'cultural celebration,' I encountered a number of young Okinawans who mistook me for an American and decided to say hello to me in English.
Big mistake.
The conversation ended up as an admonishment of their desire to want to be, act and talk Western. Not one of them spoke Uchinaguchi (their English was pretty good, though). None of them were involved in Okinawan cultural activities. By the time my sermon was complete, they all seemed to lament, to some degree, the effect it may have on their families, their communities. But I digress.
By my own little segue, it would seem that I am into pushing people to embrace their own culture. And I am up for that. But my greater wish, my expressed desire, is that people have a goal when they start an activity. And let's not make it an easy goal, like "I am gonna last a month and see from there." That is not a goal. Hell, that's barely a commitment. Make a goal like "I am going to get my X belt and then re-evaluate my commitment."
But that requires you now to put in the effort. One cannot simply phone in the effort. Or tweet it. You need to come focused. You need to come ready to give it your best effort. You need to put yourself through some level of adversity. Because if you only hang around doing something because it is fun or easy, then life will not be kind to you as you get older. If you quite everything you begin, then you don't really accomplish anything. If minimal or no effort is your goal, and your reward is bailing before the going gets anywhere near tough, well, sorry, but that is pretty sad.
So, yes, if you start an activity, don't just jam out because you're bored or you're not invested. Don't leave because it cuts into your LARPing or your bingeing or whatever requires less effort and an easy payoff. Commit. Pick a milestone. Stick with the activity - good and bad - until your achieve that milestone. Then, before you go, review the exercise. Lessons learned? How did it go? Was it better or worse than expected? Could you tough it out until the next milestone?
It applies to big people as much as small people.
And parents, if you want your child to learn discipline, I'll give you a hint: letting the kid dictate attendance or participation is not teaching them discipline. In fact it is sort of the opposite of discipline. So, by pulling them or letting them pull the pin, you are rewarding a negative behaviour. And you are possibly depriving them of a valuable life lesson.
Look back on your life. Ask your friends, family, co-workers. Ever regretted quitting something you did (doesn't even matter what it was)? Why did you quit? How did you feel immediately after? When did that feeling change?
You see where I am going with this.
I hope so.
Becoming hopelessly devoted to something that is worthwhile and beneficial is a good idea.
It's not only something that will improve your life, it will eliminate the need for regret.
So, now - go! Get your ass to the dojo!
I am not trying to be funny. It is a pretty serious observation.
In fact, it is absolutely surprising that it has not happened before. Video game systems. TVs. Various and sundry toys and distractions. It's madness I tell you.
Now, it is not new. We have become a society fixed on fads and trends. We love our shinies. And in doing so, we don't commit. We refuse to go all in.
A few months ago, I spoke with a gentleman who sits on the board for a community where our club practices. He recounted that his son had been involved in martial arts years ago when he was younger. He did not stick around long. In fact, the man lamented, he had a wide variety and assortment of uniforms and equipment from different activities in which his son had been involved. I would guess that said phenomenon is not unique to this one gentleman.
We have lost the fine art of commitment. In for a penny in for a pound? Nope. In until I tire of whatever it is that I am doing. Or until I find something easier that allows me to break my routine. Speaking of which, did you know it takes a minimum of 66 days to form a habit? That is 66 consecutive days. Of doing the same thing. And that is a short estimate, Two to eight months is more like it. So, sorry your one month of a handful of days for a handful of hours trying it doesn't quite cut it,
Or, my favourite - it's just not for me. Really? Again, maybe you lasted all of a month. How do you know if it is for you. Maybe somewhere between 8-10 hours over that time, I guess. That is pledging to an activity? Or is is that sorta like the guy marrying his phone - committing to something easy and mindless and non-binding.
Well, that may explain divorce rates. Or tenure at workplaces. And the list could go on. So much for loyalty...
So, yes, I contest that we don't commit anymore. Or we commit to the wrong things. Phones. Binge-watching TV shows. Facebook. Selfies.
Are we alone in this? I daresay no. In fact, there is evidence that Japan's culture is disappearing. The traditional arts are not pulling in the participants needed to carry them forward. As the article says, you cannot force tradition.
Even on Okinawa, it is easy to see that dojos are suffering similar effects. Perhaps one part Western influence or part invasive cultural-species - there are MMA clubs, K1 schools and whatnot that seem to be doing quite well. But, the numbers in some of the dojo I have seen or been to would indicate a decline.
In 2012, on my way back to the hotel from a night of 'cultural celebration,' I encountered a number of young Okinawans who mistook me for an American and decided to say hello to me in English.
Big mistake.
The conversation ended up as an admonishment of their desire to want to be, act and talk Western. Not one of them spoke Uchinaguchi (their English was pretty good, though). None of them were involved in Okinawan cultural activities. By the time my sermon was complete, they all seemed to lament, to some degree, the effect it may have on their families, their communities. But I digress.
By my own little segue, it would seem that I am into pushing people to embrace their own culture. And I am up for that. But my greater wish, my expressed desire, is that people have a goal when they start an activity. And let's not make it an easy goal, like "I am gonna last a month and see from there." That is not a goal. Hell, that's barely a commitment. Make a goal like "I am going to get my X belt and then re-evaluate my commitment."
But that requires you now to put in the effort. One cannot simply phone in the effort. Or tweet it. You need to come focused. You need to come ready to give it your best effort. You need to put yourself through some level of adversity. Because if you only hang around doing something because it is fun or easy, then life will not be kind to you as you get older. If you quite everything you begin, then you don't really accomplish anything. If minimal or no effort is your goal, and your reward is bailing before the going gets anywhere near tough, well, sorry, but that is pretty sad.
So, yes, if you start an activity, don't just jam out because you're bored or you're not invested. Don't leave because it cuts into your LARPing or your bingeing or whatever requires less effort and an easy payoff. Commit. Pick a milestone. Stick with the activity - good and bad - until your achieve that milestone. Then, before you go, review the exercise. Lessons learned? How did it go? Was it better or worse than expected? Could you tough it out until the next milestone?
It applies to big people as much as small people.
And parents, if you want your child to learn discipline, I'll give you a hint: letting the kid dictate attendance or participation is not teaching them discipline. In fact it is sort of the opposite of discipline. So, by pulling them or letting them pull the pin, you are rewarding a negative behaviour. And you are possibly depriving them of a valuable life lesson.
Look back on your life. Ask your friends, family, co-workers. Ever regretted quitting something you did (doesn't even matter what it was)? Why did you quit? How did you feel immediately after? When did that feeling change?
You see where I am going with this.
I hope so.
Becoming hopelessly devoted to something that is worthwhile and beneficial is a good idea.
It's not only something that will improve your life, it will eliminate the need for regret.
So, now - go! Get your ass to the dojo!
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