Do you or someone you know suffer from MPD: Martial Personailty Disorder?
I loves to read me some Marc MacYoung. The Animal is not exactly a classical martial artist; in fact, he's not really a martial artist in our sense of the word.
As such, he is not bound by the constraints and politics of martial decorum and pretty much calls it as he sees it. People can get easily offended by what he has to say. I have never been one of them. I have never met the guy, but I like what he has to say. Unlike some in the martial world who 'claim' to have understanding of violence, guys like Marc and Rory Miller have walked the lines of violent confrontation with the biggest shitrats of the world - and of classical martial arts training. Once thought of as a 'survivalist,' Marc's work has morphed into an opinionated but sensible realm of do's and don'ts, what to cling to and what to run away from in the martial world.
And what pisses Marc off most about our world is the phoniness of it all. The politicism. The power-tripping. The psychopathy and sociopathy of the martial arts and combat systems in general - from reality-based self defense to MMA. No one sacred cow escapes his wrath. And that is what pisses off many martial artists about Marc.
Funny how that happens, huh?
Marc isn't always the most eloquent fellow, but he makes some very good points. I do not agree with all he says, but I have to say that much of what he calls as he sees is not far off the mark from what I have experienced and seen in my time in the martial plane of existence. I can smile and nod knowingly when he writes about martial cults, authoritarian 'masters,' mcDojos and self-styled self defense programs. In other words, he spells out the business, bullies and bullshit of MA in plain English, with examples.
But he also talks about personalities. Instructor personalities. He spells out the kind of folk who sometimes occupy the space at the front of the class. Who the person is behind the uniform and the rank and how that influences what the person does with and in the uniform and the rank. He picks at the craw of it and uses the following expression that may offend some here.
As we stated earlier, there seems to be an attraction to the martial arts/self-defense world for disturbed people; who can be any personality type and anywhere along the continuum.
But, if you are honest and do a full 360 scan (including internally), you'll see some flags of deeper colours pop up. Chances are, your loyalties will override them and you will consciously choose to ignore them. Or, if found internally, they can be rationalized by the "they're not talking about me" voice. God, how I love superiority complexes and self-deceiving narcissistic behaviour.
Now, this is where you can say 'well, what about you,' and do so rightfully. But, if you are in my Facebook world, or if you've known me longer than for a day, you'll know I do not hide much from those around me. But, let's take you through the list, shall we? Scroll down past the white here if you wish to hold any pre-conceived notions of who I am and skip this section. The great thing is, my 'issues' fall on Axis I of the DSM. :)
- I'm an Alpha (Type-A) personality. I've been called an extreme Alpha by those in the psych field.
- I have an IQ of 135, a condition that made growing up more awkward than for the 'average' kids.
- As a result, suffered low-esteem through most of my adolescent and teen life.
- I grew up in a family where paternal family substance abuse was historically chronic (the Irish curse).
And this was while I started in the martial arts.
Since I have been studying, I've suffered through my fair share of shit in life.
- Depression (family history)
- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (as a result of workplace harassment and mobbing) that came and comes with a full range of its own shit.
- A history of suicidal tendencies over the past 10 years (this may be new to some, but what the hell)
- had a stint with some dissociative behavioural elements that I am not proud of.
I have been 'diagnosed` with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). I say 'diagnosed' because these were done by psychiatric folks with limited history scope intervention (20-30 minutes) using a DSM-IV criterion sheet. If you know anything of diagnoses within the spectrum, they are not an exact science. They are largely best guestimates based on a limited clinical interview. Even then, what direction your `guestimate falls, ìt also largely depends what your psychiatric bent is (Jungian, etc). My trauma psych had a giggle about the NPD diagnosis, but I digress.
So, all this to say that I am aware of my 'issues.' I deal with them. It ain't always pretty, but I do. And having an Irish temper does not help. But, I don't hide this. I don't wear it out on my sleeve. But, if you are in my world, you know about it. I am not gonna beat you over the head with it, but I am not wearing a mask for anyone. I once had a friend chastise me for 'sharing' on Facebook. His approach is to use FB as a public persona. My FB persona is who I am - good and bad. When I am there, I am as real as I am anywhere else.
And this is largely what MacYoung was looking to tell folks. Beware of what you see: the shroud should not be firmly fastened out of deference to sensei, master, sifu, sahbumnim, guro or whatever. Beware of what you are exposed to in your art. What you are exposed to may not be 'martial' in nature, but rather it may be a by-product of the individual who is in charge. I'm not talking about mild dysfunction that can inhabit dojos on a small scale, I am talking full-on problems that are ignored simply because it is 'Sensei's' behaviour. Abuse, aggression, manipulation - these could be some of the things that you see but may or may not register because they are coming from the instructor. Don't shrug it off. There are NO sacred cows - every single person in the arts is human. Given that many folks enrol in martial arts to gain confidence and self-esteem, for the discipline and structure (ADD, ADHD, OCD), there is nothing to say that you are not standing next to one of these folk on the floor.
Nor do you know whether or not that person has made it through the ranks (unless they have shared it with you in context) and now run the dojo. I'm not saying that they do not deserve to be there. Far from it. They may do very well for themselves. And the Axis I issues are not unmanageable. But they should not overlook their issues, nor should you. It should not be an impediment to study with them unless their issue is becoming YOUR issue, What I mean by that is that it is affecting you in a very direct way. If it does, it`s time for a talk, not sensei to student, but person to person. If the person is not amenable to conversation, well... your call.
However, from the personality disorder spectrum that sits on the Axis II register, now we are in dangerous territory, folks. Not necessarily dangerous, but this is where we see serious deviations from the norm. These are the folk you really need to be careful with in uniform and outside. I would say, from my interactions with the folks that I have come to distrust and be avoidant of in the martial world, that most fall into clusters B and C (look them up). I have met some who fit into the sadistic and passive-aggressive personality disorders.
Years ago, there was a respected tae kwon do master in my city that had a large organization in a group of community centres in the city. He had, literally, hundreds of students. He was slick, I'll give him that. At his core, tho, he had (and has) some serious personality issues. He was a bully. He would yell and scream at young students; some would wet themselves from the abuse. He would also womanize -hitting on young students. Some he slept with. I think he married one of them. He was a little less than faithful, and was married at least 4 times in the time I knew him. And this is just a snapshot of some of his issues. His kingdom is much smaller now. Throngs of people woke up to his BS.
My own experience was one of a cult of personality. My foray into tae kwon do was with a guy who I misread. He turned into a manipulative, inconsistent, womaninzing, untrustworthy individual. He asked me to lie for him to cover up his indiscretions. He slept with a few students. He was verbally abusive and could be very vindictive if you did not follow his way of doing things. He also ran his dojo like a stable. He looked after the 'real' students. The bill-payers were relegated elsewhere. Yes, there was a distinction of where you were in his world. If you won trophies, you were worth something. If not, you were just fodder. I was fooled, but I eventually woke up. Took me a little while to untangle myself from that mess, but I did. Only there two years, but I cannot imagine the people who were there before me and were still there when I left. His world has suffered - more people got smart over the years.
Is everyone in the martial arts world crazy? Is that what I am trying to say? Not at all. Is everyone in the martial arts world a nice person? Ermahgerd, no! Am I crazy? That is debatable, I think. ;) Am I a nice person. My character is nice, unless you have pissed me off somehow. So, if you have found from our interactions, that I am an asshole, then perhaps you need to explore that based on what I say here. Draw your own conclusions. I am not much for entertaining off-the-cuff opinions. :) The overall point is - don't assume the guy at the front is normal, or sane, as MacYoung points out.
Should we simply accept all the things that go on in a martial arts school becayouse it's what sensei says? Nope. Deceptive behaviours, manipulative behaviours, sadistic behaviours. And on and on. Is master asking you to lie for him? Is sifu favouring the hot, new blonde student? Are you doing a lot of freebies in the dojo, but you're paying your $100 like everyone else? Are you told that you cannot explore other martial systems, even as a black belt? Is your training time being all used up for teaching time while sensei is off the floor? Are these situations wrong? You have to decide for yourself.
But, if you're getting sucked into the behaviours and allowing them to happen constantly and consistently, you may also have a disorder that needs remedying: DSD - dependant sheeple disorder. Don't ruin your experience I've been there, and it did not ruin my taste for the martial arts. Though it could have. If the need calls for it, or you fear you have found such a dojo with this sort of issue, you need to extricate yourself. Fast. Drop the dojo and the 'friends' you may have made there like a bad habit. They can be the link that keeps you tied to the dysfunction.
Make sure you have a decent instructor who is there for the right reasons. One who has good values and surrounds himself (or yes, herself) with likeminded folk. Train - but keep your eyes open. Always.
And if you have to train with a crazy person - go with the Axis I people. But make sure they are medicated. :)
As such, he is not bound by the constraints and politics of martial decorum and pretty much calls it as he sees it. People can get easily offended by what he has to say. I have never been one of them. I have never met the guy, but I like what he has to say. Unlike some in the martial world who 'claim' to have understanding of violence, guys like Marc and Rory Miller have walked the lines of violent confrontation with the biggest shitrats of the world - and of classical martial arts training. Once thought of as a 'survivalist,' Marc's work has morphed into an opinionated but sensible realm of do's and don'ts, what to cling to and what to run away from in the martial world.
And what pisses Marc off most about our world is the phoniness of it all. The politicism. The power-tripping. The psychopathy and sociopathy of the martial arts and combat systems in general - from reality-based self defense to MMA. No one sacred cow escapes his wrath. And that is what pisses off many martial artists about Marc.
Funny how that happens, huh?
Marc isn't always the most eloquent fellow, but he makes some very good points. I do not agree with all he says, but I have to say that much of what he calls as he sees is not far off the mark from what I have experienced and seen in my time in the martial plane of existence. I can smile and nod knowingly when he writes about martial cults, authoritarian 'masters,' mcDojos and self-styled self defense programs. In other words, he spells out the business, bullies and bullshit of MA in plain English, with examples.
But he also talks about personalities. Instructor personalities. He spells out the kind of folk who sometimes occupy the space at the front of the class. Who the person is behind the uniform and the rank and how that influences what the person does with and in the uniform and the rank. He picks at the craw of it and uses the following expression that may offend some here.
As we stated earlier, there seems to be an attraction to the martial arts/self-defense world for disturbed people; who can be any personality type and anywhere along the continuum.
But, if you are honest and do a full 360 scan (including internally), you'll see some flags of deeper colours pop up. Chances are, your loyalties will override them and you will consciously choose to ignore them. Or, if found internally, they can be rationalized by the "they're not talking about me" voice. God, how I love superiority complexes and self-deceiving narcissistic behaviour.
Now, this is where you can say 'well, what about you,' and do so rightfully. But, if you are in my Facebook world, or if you've known me longer than for a day, you'll know I do not hide much from those around me. But, let's take you through the list, shall we? Scroll down past the white here if you wish to hold any pre-conceived notions of who I am and skip this section. The great thing is, my 'issues' fall on Axis I of the DSM. :)
- I'm an Alpha (Type-A) personality. I've been called an extreme Alpha by those in the psych field.
- I have an IQ of 135, a condition that made growing up more awkward than for the 'average' kids.
- As a result, suffered low-esteem through most of my adolescent and teen life.
- I grew up in a family where paternal family substance abuse was historically chronic (the Irish curse).
And this was while I started in the martial arts.
Since I have been studying, I've suffered through my fair share of shit in life.
- Depression (family history)
- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (as a result of workplace harassment and mobbing) that came and comes with a full range of its own shit.
- A history of suicidal tendencies over the past 10 years (this may be new to some, but what the hell)
- had a stint with some dissociative behavioural elements that I am not proud of.
I have been 'diagnosed` with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). I say 'diagnosed' because these were done by psychiatric folks with limited history scope intervention (20-30 minutes) using a DSM-IV criterion sheet. If you know anything of diagnoses within the spectrum, they are not an exact science. They are largely best guestimates based on a limited clinical interview. Even then, what direction your `guestimate falls, ìt also largely depends what your psychiatric bent is (Jungian, etc). My trauma psych had a giggle about the NPD diagnosis, but I digress.
So, all this to say that I am aware of my 'issues.' I deal with them. It ain't always pretty, but I do. And having an Irish temper does not help. But, I don't hide this. I don't wear it out on my sleeve. But, if you are in my world, you know about it. I am not gonna beat you over the head with it, but I am not wearing a mask for anyone. I once had a friend chastise me for 'sharing' on Facebook. His approach is to use FB as a public persona. My FB persona is who I am - good and bad. When I am there, I am as real as I am anywhere else.
And this is largely what MacYoung was looking to tell folks. Beware of what you see: the shroud should not be firmly fastened out of deference to sensei, master, sifu, sahbumnim, guro or whatever. Beware of what you are exposed to in your art. What you are exposed to may not be 'martial' in nature, but rather it may be a by-product of the individual who is in charge. I'm not talking about mild dysfunction that can inhabit dojos on a small scale, I am talking full-on problems that are ignored simply because it is 'Sensei's' behaviour. Abuse, aggression, manipulation - these could be some of the things that you see but may or may not register because they are coming from the instructor. Don't shrug it off. There are NO sacred cows - every single person in the arts is human. Given that many folks enrol in martial arts to gain confidence and self-esteem, for the discipline and structure (ADD, ADHD, OCD), there is nothing to say that you are not standing next to one of these folk on the floor.
Nor do you know whether or not that person has made it through the ranks (unless they have shared it with you in context) and now run the dojo. I'm not saying that they do not deserve to be there. Far from it. They may do very well for themselves. And the Axis I issues are not unmanageable. But they should not overlook their issues, nor should you. It should not be an impediment to study with them unless their issue is becoming YOUR issue, What I mean by that is that it is affecting you in a very direct way. If it does, it`s time for a talk, not sensei to student, but person to person. If the person is not amenable to conversation, well... your call.
However, from the personality disorder spectrum that sits on the Axis II register, now we are in dangerous territory, folks. Not necessarily dangerous, but this is where we see serious deviations from the norm. These are the folk you really need to be careful with in uniform and outside. I would say, from my interactions with the folks that I have come to distrust and be avoidant of in the martial world, that most fall into clusters B and C (look them up). I have met some who fit into the sadistic and passive-aggressive personality disorders.
Years ago, there was a respected tae kwon do master in my city that had a large organization in a group of community centres in the city. He had, literally, hundreds of students. He was slick, I'll give him that. At his core, tho, he had (and has) some serious personality issues. He was a bully. He would yell and scream at young students; some would wet themselves from the abuse. He would also womanize -hitting on young students. Some he slept with. I think he married one of them. He was a little less than faithful, and was married at least 4 times in the time I knew him. And this is just a snapshot of some of his issues. His kingdom is much smaller now. Throngs of people woke up to his BS.
My own experience was one of a cult of personality. My foray into tae kwon do was with a guy who I misread. He turned into a manipulative, inconsistent, womaninzing, untrustworthy individual. He asked me to lie for him to cover up his indiscretions. He slept with a few students. He was verbally abusive and could be very vindictive if you did not follow his way of doing things. He also ran his dojo like a stable. He looked after the 'real' students. The bill-payers were relegated elsewhere. Yes, there was a distinction of where you were in his world. If you won trophies, you were worth something. If not, you were just fodder. I was fooled, but I eventually woke up. Took me a little while to untangle myself from that mess, but I did. Only there two years, but I cannot imagine the people who were there before me and were still there when I left. His world has suffered - more people got smart over the years.
Is everyone in the martial arts world crazy? Is that what I am trying to say? Not at all. Is everyone in the martial arts world a nice person? Ermahgerd, no! Am I crazy? That is debatable, I think. ;) Am I a nice person. My character is nice, unless you have pissed me off somehow. So, if you have found from our interactions, that I am an asshole, then perhaps you need to explore that based on what I say here. Draw your own conclusions. I am not much for entertaining off-the-cuff opinions. :) The overall point is - don't assume the guy at the front is normal, or sane, as MacYoung points out.
Should we simply accept all the things that go on in a martial arts school becayouse it's what sensei says? Nope. Deceptive behaviours, manipulative behaviours, sadistic behaviours. And on and on. Is master asking you to lie for him? Is sifu favouring the hot, new blonde student? Are you doing a lot of freebies in the dojo, but you're paying your $100 like everyone else? Are you told that you cannot explore other martial systems, even as a black belt? Is your training time being all used up for teaching time while sensei is off the floor? Are these situations wrong? You have to decide for yourself.
But, if you're getting sucked into the behaviours and allowing them to happen constantly and consistently, you may also have a disorder that needs remedying: DSD - dependant sheeple disorder. Don't ruin your experience I've been there, and it did not ruin my taste for the martial arts. Though it could have. If the need calls for it, or you fear you have found such a dojo with this sort of issue, you need to extricate yourself. Fast. Drop the dojo and the 'friends' you may have made there like a bad habit. They can be the link that keeps you tied to the dysfunction.
Make sure you have a decent instructor who is there for the right reasons. One who has good values and surrounds himself (or yes, herself) with likeminded folk. Train - but keep your eyes open. Always.
And if you have to train with a crazy person - go with the Axis I people. But make sure they are medicated. :)
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