Karate and the art of verbal de-escalation
I came across a meme today that intrigued me. It may or may not be true, but the messaging that it contains therein is worth a look. It is here for your perusal (click to enlarge). The vernacular would tell me that this event took place in Australia, but the terms could be changed make it happen anywhere in the free world. And as karateka, there are lessons to learn, good and bad, and points to ponder as to how the situation played out
When I first started reading it, I began to wonder about its veracity. But, as it settled in my head, I decided that whether or not it is true, the spirit of the message is as important as the action described therein. There are four key actors contained herein. The author, for his lack of action, I do not consider to be an integral character and I will get to why later on. The driver, the man who stood up to the shitrat aka heretofore as SR or "sierra romeo," the SR himself and the SR's girlfriend. The driver acted within his scope of duty and responsibility. The SR did what SRs do. The girlfriend, well, she was seemingly supportive of the SR's position, but may not have the free will to do much else. Not enough info here and, for the sake of the analysis, not important. The valiant folk, the man and the driver, need to be commended for standing up to the abusive comments and actions of the SR.
But how many of you thought this was going to turn out far worse than it did? My mind skipped to a potential beating of the SR by the stranger. Now, while that may have been something he needed and something else everyone may have cheered for, it would have been simply another example of how our society increasingly deals with frustrations and impediments. Thankfully, he did not stoop to the base level of response - the one the SR jumped to when he felt like "he" was being disrespected. If this mysterious guy was not a karate guy, he damned well should be.
Why?
Well, for one, he did what we should all be prepared to do. When we see a situation or altercation wherein someone could be injured, we have a moral obligation to step in. He supported someone who needed assistance and was attempting to derail a potentially bad situation. While he may have not defused by the best means possible, hats off to him for wanting to stick up for another human being. Chalk a point up for him.
But here's where I start deducting points. He potentially escalated the situation by a) telling the person to calm down and b) accepting a challenge to exchange violence with a person on a bus with people. Oh yeh, and c) he neglected to take into account the potential role that the drunken/stoned girlfriend would play in any debacle.
Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of the approach and I applaud the outcome. But, I cannot condone all the steps in between.
I talk to my students about levels of violence in training. When discussing applications and whats and hows, I usually refer to the extreme case. Not because I like violence or because I enjoy inflicting pain, but because the likelihood of violence escalating quickly is a real possibility. That and people need to understand the potentiality for serious bodily harm if they do not pay attention to what and how they are applying their techniques. In this case, it would seem that said potential existed. Don't believe me? Here's a homespun example; the tragedy is the driver will never regain full function again. Could this have happened to the 'ordinary hero' and/ or the driver in this story? There's little doubt in my mind that they answer would be yes.
One of the other things I refer with my students is 'awareness.' Maybe you could also call it presence. Whatever you call it, it's being in tune with your surroundings. It's weighing situations for possibly outcomes and always anticipating things to go south in a heartbeat. Yet reacting and acting in ways to turn it towards a positive or, at the very least, neutral outcome. What if buddy had a knife? a gun? Had simply cold-cocked the good samaritan? Or, like the case of Mattson and Bregg, yanked one or both off the bus and beaten them to death in front of the bystanders? The SR logic that the writer referred to in the article is likely mired with examples of dirty tricks and wanton violence.
The man could have done all the same things he did in a slightly different way. Rather than spout off to the SR, he could have simply explained that the language and abuse is not needed. He could have asked him to leave, noting that people are late for work, etc because of this delay. Or, instead of accepting a challenge, one that everyone heard and that may have caused legal issues had this erupted into violence with a bus full of witnesses watching, he could have simply said 'let's just step off the bus and talk about this' and done the same thing he did. Same approach, different method of display.
Appear defenseless, yet remain ready to go on the defensive. The win achieved without losing.
Again, I like the approach. the display was, in the eyes of the writer of the piece, a little too buckaroo for me. Bravado is grand, but let's go home alive and not take chances with our safety or that of others. (Unless of course you are in a no-win situation and then the gloves are off!)
NOW, for the author - our busbench hero. Nice of him to share this with us all. But, here is the issue I have with people like this person. He is happy to celebrate someone willing to stand up and help others when the need arises, but is content to sit back and be a spectator. Worse yet, he 'steps up' with a Trudeau-like salute as the bus pulls away. Dangerous for a pile of reasons as well. Nothing up until that point would make him memorable to that little man who was just humiliated. He did not do anything to resolve the situation but he just added potential fuel to the fire. Maybe the SR will remember him if they ever cross paths again before he recognizes the SR. Bad, bad place to be. Worse yet, the SR make whatever anger and angst after the insult is added to the injury of his own stupidity. Maybe in an agitated state, SR will now inflict himself on some poor unsuspecting creature. Actions have consequences. If you are not willing to act like a man, please refrain from acting like a child.
In summary, some of the key points to draw from your karate:
- Karate can be used for good. It can be used to protect others as well as self, especially when the situation has repercussions for you. If you don't feel that it is your place, that's fine. But, if a similar situation ever happens to you or a loved one and no one steps up to help, don't point fingers. And remember, to rewrite the old cliché; if you don't want to be part of the problem, you need to be part of the solution.
- nothing at all says that you must physically use karate. There is no first attack in karate, even from your mouth. Blocks can be strikes, even when they are delivered orally and some of the most effective disabling blows I have seen were a formerly agitated person shaking hands with the authorities who could have just as easily tossed his ass into a cruiser(one of my fav books that has been lost to the ages from my collection came from the late George Thompson, a former English prof-turned-beat cop.) A good day is when everyone goes home and everyone walks away smiling.
- Use only as much force as is needed to repel the attack and prevent further attack. That is the gentlemanly way of handling the situation. Recognize the situation and deflect and counter as needed, verbally or physically. Excess is not required.
- Be aware of all situations around you. Front and back. At all times! Situations can change as quickly as a kata can change directions. You have to be prepared to move in that new directions swiftly and effectively. Keeps your eyes, ears and wits about you. This is where your karate comes in handy both physically and mentally.
- Train. Train. Train. Not as in 'take the..., ' but hit the floor and mentally and physically prepare yourself to respond as you need to. In whatever manner you need to.
Until then, keep an eye out for SRs and busbench heroes.
When I first started reading it, I began to wonder about its veracity. But, as it settled in my head, I decided that whether or not it is true, the spirit of the message is as important as the action described therein. There are four key actors contained herein. The author, for his lack of action, I do not consider to be an integral character and I will get to why later on. The driver, the man who stood up to the shitrat aka heretofore as SR or "sierra romeo," the SR himself and the SR's girlfriend. The driver acted within his scope of duty and responsibility. The SR did what SRs do. The girlfriend, well, she was seemingly supportive of the SR's position, but may not have the free will to do much else. Not enough info here and, for the sake of the analysis, not important. The valiant folk, the man and the driver, need to be commended for standing up to the abusive comments and actions of the SR.
But how many of you thought this was going to turn out far worse than it did? My mind skipped to a potential beating of the SR by the stranger. Now, while that may have been something he needed and something else everyone may have cheered for, it would have been simply another example of how our society increasingly deals with frustrations and impediments. Thankfully, he did not stoop to the base level of response - the one the SR jumped to when he felt like "he" was being disrespected. If this mysterious guy was not a karate guy, he damned well should be.
Why?
Well, for one, he did what we should all be prepared to do. When we see a situation or altercation wherein someone could be injured, we have a moral obligation to step in. He supported someone who needed assistance and was attempting to derail a potentially bad situation. While he may have not defused by the best means possible, hats off to him for wanting to stick up for another human being. Chalk a point up for him.
But here's where I start deducting points. He potentially escalated the situation by a) telling the person to calm down and b) accepting a challenge to exchange violence with a person on a bus with people. Oh yeh, and c) he neglected to take into account the potential role that the drunken/stoned girlfriend would play in any debacle.
Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of the approach and I applaud the outcome. But, I cannot condone all the steps in between.
I talk to my students about levels of violence in training. When discussing applications and whats and hows, I usually refer to the extreme case. Not because I like violence or because I enjoy inflicting pain, but because the likelihood of violence escalating quickly is a real possibility. That and people need to understand the potentiality for serious bodily harm if they do not pay attention to what and how they are applying their techniques. In this case, it would seem that said potential existed. Don't believe me? Here's a homespun example; the tragedy is the driver will never regain full function again. Could this have happened to the 'ordinary hero' and/ or the driver in this story? There's little doubt in my mind that they answer would be yes.
One of the other things I refer with my students is 'awareness.' Maybe you could also call it presence. Whatever you call it, it's being in tune with your surroundings. It's weighing situations for possibly outcomes and always anticipating things to go south in a heartbeat. Yet reacting and acting in ways to turn it towards a positive or, at the very least, neutral outcome. What if buddy had a knife? a gun? Had simply cold-cocked the good samaritan? Or, like the case of Mattson and Bregg, yanked one or both off the bus and beaten them to death in front of the bystanders? The SR logic that the writer referred to in the article is likely mired with examples of dirty tricks and wanton violence.
The man could have done all the same things he did in a slightly different way. Rather than spout off to the SR, he could have simply explained that the language and abuse is not needed. He could have asked him to leave, noting that people are late for work, etc because of this delay. Or, instead of accepting a challenge, one that everyone heard and that may have caused legal issues had this erupted into violence with a bus full of witnesses watching, he could have simply said 'let's just step off the bus and talk about this' and done the same thing he did. Same approach, different method of display.
Appear defenseless, yet remain ready to go on the defensive. The win achieved without losing.
Again, I like the approach. the display was, in the eyes of the writer of the piece, a little too buckaroo for me. Bravado is grand, but let's go home alive and not take chances with our safety or that of others. (Unless of course you are in a no-win situation and then the gloves are off!)
NOW, for the author - our busbench hero. Nice of him to share this with us all. But, here is the issue I have with people like this person. He is happy to celebrate someone willing to stand up and help others when the need arises, but is content to sit back and be a spectator. Worse yet, he 'steps up' with a Trudeau-like salute as the bus pulls away. Dangerous for a pile of reasons as well. Nothing up until that point would make him memorable to that little man who was just humiliated. He did not do anything to resolve the situation but he just added potential fuel to the fire. Maybe the SR will remember him if they ever cross paths again before he recognizes the SR. Bad, bad place to be. Worse yet, the SR make whatever anger and angst after the insult is added to the injury of his own stupidity. Maybe in an agitated state, SR will now inflict himself on some poor unsuspecting creature. Actions have consequences. If you are not willing to act like a man, please refrain from acting like a child.
In summary, some of the key points to draw from your karate:
- Karate can be used for good. It can be used to protect others as well as self, especially when the situation has repercussions for you. If you don't feel that it is your place, that's fine. But, if a similar situation ever happens to you or a loved one and no one steps up to help, don't point fingers. And remember, to rewrite the old cliché; if you don't want to be part of the problem, you need to be part of the solution.
- nothing at all says that you must physically use karate. There is no first attack in karate, even from your mouth. Blocks can be strikes, even when they are delivered orally and some of the most effective disabling blows I have seen were a formerly agitated person shaking hands with the authorities who could have just as easily tossed his ass into a cruiser(one of my fav books that has been lost to the ages from my collection came from the late George Thompson, a former English prof-turned-beat cop.) A good day is when everyone goes home and everyone walks away smiling.
- Use only as much force as is needed to repel the attack and prevent further attack. That is the gentlemanly way of handling the situation. Recognize the situation and deflect and counter as needed, verbally or physically. Excess is not required.
- Be aware of all situations around you. Front and back. At all times! Situations can change as quickly as a kata can change directions. You have to be prepared to move in that new directions swiftly and effectively. Keeps your eyes, ears and wits about you. This is where your karate comes in handy both physically and mentally.
- Train. Train. Train. Not as in 'take the..., ' but hit the floor and mentally and physically prepare yourself to respond as you need to. In whatever manner you need to.
Until then, keep an eye out for SRs and busbench heroes.
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